WEBVTT 00:00:01.267 --> 00:00:08.241 ♪♪ 00:00:08.308 --> 00:00:09.676 ♪ Who's the type of nigga rides a horse ♪ 00:00:09.743 --> 00:00:11.911 ♪ With both legs on the side? 00:00:12.912 --> 00:00:16.583 ♪ Who's the type of nigga waves his fingers and mouths the word "hi"? ♪ 00:00:17.617 --> 00:00:21.688 ♪ Who's the type of nigga to play dead when his boy's in a fight? ♪ 00:00:21.755 --> 00:00:24.858 ♪ There's only one type of nigga who looks in the mirror ♪ 00:00:24.924 --> 00:00:27.527 ♪ And kisses that nigga named Drizzy ♪ 00:00:27.594 --> 00:00:29.529 Ah! 00:00:29.596 --> 00:00:31.865 [ Children shouting, laughing ] 00:00:31.931 --> 00:00:33.733 [ All cheering ] 00:00:33.800 --> 00:00:36.236 Alright, alright, that was Rupert 00:00:36.302 --> 00:00:38.638 performing some weird German clogging shit. 00:00:38.705 --> 00:00:41.875 For the next act at Tyler, the Creator's Camp Flog Gnaw Junior, 00:00:41.941 --> 00:00:44.377 we got a very special [bleep] guest. 00:00:44.444 --> 00:00:46.546 [ Feedback ] 00:00:46.613 --> 00:00:48.581 I said, today we got a very special [bleep] guest. 00:00:48.648 --> 00:00:49.616 I said, today we got a very special [bleep] guest. 00:00:49.682 --> 00:00:51.217 [ Feedback, crowd booing ] 00:00:51.284 --> 00:00:52.752 Yo, what the hell is going on? 00:00:52.819 --> 00:00:55.321 I -- I can't do it, Tyler, the Creator. 00:00:55.388 --> 00:00:57.590 I already got booed offstage once. 00:00:57.657 --> 00:01:00.160 It's not the size of the star that matters. 00:01:00.226 --> 00:01:03.396 It's the motion of Frank Ocean. 00:01:03.463 --> 00:01:04.831 Drizzy, they ain't gonna boo you again. 00:01:04.898 --> 00:01:06.933 Now, come on. You're a big-dick monster. 00:01:07.000 --> 00:01:08.802 Now, get up there and [bleep] these niggas. 00:01:08.868 --> 00:01:11.771 You really think I'm a big-dick monster? 00:01:11.838 --> 00:01:13.673 And their asses on SWO. 00:01:13.740 --> 00:01:15.241 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:01:15.308 --> 00:01:16.643 Ah! Look, the new me 00:01:16.709 --> 00:01:18.912 is really still really the new me. 00:01:18.978 --> 00:01:21.247 [ Crowd booing ] 00:01:18.978 --> 00:01:21.247 You suck! Oh, you suck! 00:01:21.314 --> 00:01:23.416 -You suck! All your songs sound the same! -Where's Frank? 00:01:23.483 --> 00:01:26.953 I knew I should have just stayed home and watched "Gilmore Girls." 00:01:27.020 --> 00:01:29.456 Nah, nigga, we ain't giving up that easy. 00:01:29.522 --> 00:01:32.425 I'm gonna teach you some self-confidence, brah. Come on. 00:01:32.492 --> 00:01:34.761 Alright, in this exercise, 00:01:34.828 --> 00:01:36.863 you're gonna dress like a gay golfer. 00:01:36.930 --> 00:01:38.431 But you know I'm not gay, right? 00:01:38.498 --> 00:01:40.366 Google the Kinsey Scale, baby boy. 00:01:40.433 --> 00:01:42.602 Everybody and they mama at least a four. 00:01:42.669 --> 00:01:44.938 Okay, I got this. 00:01:45.004 --> 00:01:46.439 Ha-ha! 00:01:46.506 --> 00:01:49.776 Yo, this nigga look just like me! Fire! 00:01:49.843 --> 00:01:52.278 Alright, first part of confidence 00:01:52.345 --> 00:01:54.547 is being confident that your homie's got your back. 00:01:54.614 --> 00:01:56.449 So we're gonna do some trust falls. 00:01:56.516 --> 00:01:57.817 These kids will catch you. 00:01:57.884 --> 00:01:59.986 Yeah, I know they will, dawg. 00:02:00.053 --> 00:02:02.655 Ow! -No, you fall from up there, nigga, 00:02:02.722 --> 00:02:03.823 at the top of the ravine. 00:02:03.890 --> 00:02:05.458 You can trust that they'll catch your ass 00:02:05.525 --> 00:02:06.826 from all the way up there. 00:02:06.893 --> 00:02:09.229 It won't prove shit, but that'll be tight. 00:02:09.295 --> 00:02:11.364 Oh, okay. 00:02:12.699 --> 00:02:14.467 Here...I...go. 00:02:14.534 --> 00:02:17.237 [ Screaming ] 00:02:17.303 --> 00:02:18.705 [ Laughter ] 00:02:18.771 --> 00:02:20.740 Oh, shit. They let you fall. 00:02:20.807 --> 00:02:22.742 These niggas is legit trash. 00:02:22.809 --> 00:02:25.478 [ Laughs ] I guess maybe it wasn't dangerous enough. 00:02:25.545 --> 00:02:27.514 They need to know that you really, really trust 'em. 00:02:27.580 --> 00:02:28.815 We gotta go higher. 00:02:28.882 --> 00:02:30.717 [ Bird screeches ] 00:02:30.783 --> 00:02:32.485 Alright, Drizzy, go ahead 00:02:32.552 --> 00:02:34.420 and stand right there at the edge of that cliff, 00:02:34.487 --> 00:02:35.989 right over those jagged-ass rocks, 00:02:36.055 --> 00:02:37.490 and these kids will catch you. 00:02:37.557 --> 00:02:39.859 No, I'm tired of getting laughed at and booed. 00:02:39.926 --> 00:02:43.329 I'm starting to get the feeling that you're the type of nigga 00:02:43.396 --> 00:02:46.599 that's not trying to help me at all, Tyler, the Creator. 00:02:46.666 --> 00:02:48.034 Bitch, just jump off the [bleep] cliff already. 00:02:48.101 --> 00:02:48.768 Bitch, just jump off the [bleep] cliff already. 00:02:48.835 --> 00:02:50.770 No! I'm not taking it anymore. 00:02:50.837 --> 00:02:52.038 [ Grunts ] 00:02:52.105 --> 00:02:53.907 Yeah, that's what I've been waitin' for. 00:02:53.973 --> 00:02:57.410 Congratulations, Drizzy. You finally got your confiden-- 00:02:57.477 --> 00:02:58.678 Ugh! 00:02:58.745 --> 00:03:01.848 Oh, my God. What the [bleep] man? 00:03:01.915 --> 00:03:04.050 You just threw Tyler, the Creator off a cliff! 00:03:04.117 --> 00:03:05.785 And made his guts go splat! 00:03:05.852 --> 00:03:07.020 Uh-oh! 00:03:07.086 --> 00:03:09.455 [ Siren wails, all sobbing ] 00:03:09.522 --> 00:03:11.791 Drizzy, you the type of nigga who is under arrest 00:03:11.858 --> 00:03:13.860 for the murder of a highly beloved rapper. 00:03:13.927 --> 00:03:17.030 Tyler, the Creator: Uh, I'm just an artist. Stop puttin' me in a box. 00:03:17.096 --> 00:03:19.766 Put his ass in a box and take this other nigga to jail. 00:03:19.832 --> 00:03:22.435 Uh, uh, I think I might be the type of nigga 00:03:22.502 --> 00:03:24.704 who doesn't wanna be self-confident anymore. 00:03:24.771 --> 00:03:25.905 ♪ Drizzy 00:03:25.972 --> 00:03:27.540 ♪ Ha-ha 00:03:27.607 --> 00:03:28.908 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:28.975 --> 00:03:30.543 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:30.610 --> 00:03:31.911 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:31.978 --> 00:03:33.546 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:33.613 --> 00:03:34.948 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:35.014 --> 00:03:36.549 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:36.616 --> 00:03:37.884 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:03:37.951 --> 00:03:40.553 ♪ "Sugar and Toys" 00:03:40.620 --> 00:03:42.455 Oh, hey, as I'm sure you know, 00:03:42.522 --> 00:03:43.890 it's that magical time of the year 00:03:43.957 --> 00:03:46.426 when people lower their expectations for love 00:03:46.492 --> 00:03:48.895 'cause they scared of spending the holidays alone. 00:03:48.962 --> 00:03:50.830 That's right, it's cuffin' season. 00:03:50.897 --> 00:03:52.565 Ha-ha! 00:03:52.632 --> 00:03:54.601 This year, I'm tryin' to wife me a spiritually-woke bae 00:03:54.667 --> 00:03:56.769 so she can teach me how to light an incense. 00:03:56.836 --> 00:04:00.773 According to this, spiritually-woke baes 00:04:00.840 --> 00:04:04.677 love a partner who is in touch with their true self. 00:04:04.744 --> 00:04:07.447 Man, what better way to find out who I really am 00:04:07.513 --> 00:04:10.083 than to let astrology tell me so I don't have to waste time 00:04:10.149 --> 00:04:11.584 tryin' to find myself? 00:04:11.651 --> 00:04:13.653 All I gotta do is put my B-day in here, 00:04:13.720 --> 00:04:15.088 and... 00:04:15.154 --> 00:04:17.690 Oh, shit. I'm a Taurean. 00:04:17.757 --> 00:04:19.759 That means I'm hardworking and determined. 00:04:19.826 --> 00:04:22.629 I'm officially about to make you look real stupid. 00:04:22.695 --> 00:04:27.133 It says I'm a Scorpius. That shit way harder than yours. 00:04:27.200 --> 00:04:30.603 Prepare to catch these astrological claw hands. 00:04:30.670 --> 00:04:31.938 Ooh, but blocked, though, 00:04:32.005 --> 00:04:34.874 because one of my strengths is adaptability. 00:04:34.941 --> 00:04:38.678 ♪♪ 00:04:38.745 --> 00:04:41.481 Good luck handlin' that shit. 00:04:41.547 --> 00:04:43.783 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:04:43.850 --> 00:04:46.552 Announcer: You've Uber X'd, Uber XL'd, and tried Uber Select, 00:04:46.619 --> 00:04:48.521 Uber Black, and Uber SUV. 00:04:48.588 --> 00:04:50.556 You can even Uber Helicopter. 00:04:50.623 --> 00:04:53.159 But that was back when you still had a job. 00:04:53.226 --> 00:04:57.397 Now that you're too broke to even Uber Pool, try Uber Trunk. 00:04:57.463 --> 00:04:59.999 -Uh, James? -Yep, that's me. 00:05:00.066 --> 00:05:02.135 Get on in...my trunk. 00:05:02.201 --> 00:05:04.037 [ Tires squeal ] 00:05:02.201 --> 00:05:04.037 Damn, it's dark in here. 00:05:04.103 --> 00:05:05.672 Might as well make myself comfortable. 00:05:05.738 --> 00:05:07.907 Aah! What kind of first date is this? 00:05:07.974 --> 00:05:09.976 Got me ridin' around in a damn trunk. 00:05:10.043 --> 00:05:12.545 Announcer: Uber Trunk isn't just for broke mother[bleep] like you. 00:05:12.612 --> 00:05:15.415 Drivers can use Uber Trunk to cut down on expensive cleaning bills 00:05:15.481 --> 00:05:17.050 due to drunk passengers. 00:05:17.116 --> 00:05:19.585 Anyone feel like doin' shots? 00:05:19.652 --> 00:05:21.654 I think this trunk is overbooked. 00:05:21.721 --> 00:05:23.156 At least he bought liquor. 00:05:23.222 --> 00:05:25.058 Announcer: Some Uber Trunks even provide treats. 00:05:25.124 --> 00:05:28.094 Oh, look, some old French fries from an old Uber Eats delivery. 00:05:28.161 --> 00:05:30.530 [ Chuckles ] At least I think they're French fries. 00:05:30.596 --> 00:05:31.731 Ugh! 00:05:31.798 --> 00:05:33.433 Announcer: So try Uber Trunk. 00:05:33.499 --> 00:05:35.835 We guarantee your fixed-income ass will save money. 00:05:35.902 --> 00:05:39.172 Satisfaction not guaranteed. -Hey, hey, hey, let me out! 00:05:39.238 --> 00:05:41.174 You forgot me! Hey, where you at? Man, let me out! 00:05:41.240 --> 00:05:44.744 Announcer: Uber Trunk -- Hit the road from the back. 00:05:45.178 --> 00:05:48.247 ♪ Cryin' in my milk, I'm cryin' in my milk ♪ 00:05:48.314 --> 00:05:51.117 ♪ So sad that it spilled, my Saturday has been killed ♪ 00:05:51.184 --> 00:05:53.586 Billie Eilish, you swept the Grammys, 00:05:53.653 --> 00:05:55.521 had four number-one hit singles, 00:05:55.588 --> 00:05:57.957 and just finished another sold-out world tour. 00:05:58.024 --> 00:06:00.526 How do you feel? -I am normal teen. 00:06:00.593 --> 00:06:03.563 Fans love your trademark creepiness, 00:06:03.629 --> 00:06:05.031 like how you have a pet spider 00:06:05.098 --> 00:06:07.200 who you actually used in a music video. 00:06:07.266 --> 00:06:09.202 What's behind that? 00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:12.872 She is so real. 00:06:12.939 --> 00:06:14.707 Billie Eilish -- 00:06:14.774 --> 00:06:17.110 Mnh-mnh. Something's not right about that weird white girl. 00:06:17.176 --> 00:06:19.045 Lizzo, darlin', come back. 00:06:19.112 --> 00:06:21.080 We were right in the middle of Cards Against Humanity. 00:06:21.147 --> 00:06:23.783 Harry Styles, forget that stupid-ass game and come look at this. 00:06:23.850 --> 00:06:26.252 Well, that game is so wrong. 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:29.088 Best believe I'm gonna find out what's goin' on with you, Billie. 00:06:29.155 --> 00:06:30.289 You best believe. 00:06:30.356 --> 00:06:32.992 Woman: Billie, time to wake up. 00:06:33.059 --> 00:06:39.732 ♪♪ 00:06:39.799 --> 00:06:41.801 I knew somethin' was weird about that girl. 00:06:41.868 --> 00:06:43.970 Nobody likes spiders that much, 00:06:44.036 --> 00:06:46.672 unless you 100% that spider. 00:06:46.739 --> 00:06:50.843 Lizzo, darlin', I'm startin' to find the arachnophobia problematic. 00:06:50.910 --> 00:06:53.613 I'm so proud of you, sweetheart. 00:06:53.679 --> 00:06:55.615 My little girl is up for six Grammys. 00:06:55.681 --> 00:06:57.917 Hungry. 00:06:59.318 --> 00:07:01.788 Teenage girls and their appetite. 00:07:01.854 --> 00:07:03.122 [ Laughs ] 00:07:03.189 --> 00:07:05.958 Billie... 00:07:06.025 --> 00:07:07.660 I can't let her get away with this. 00:07:07.727 --> 00:07:10.129 There's no way I'm about to lose Best New Artist 00:07:10.196 --> 00:07:12.799 to a bunch of hairy bugs. 00:07:12.865 --> 00:07:18.204 And the award goes to... DJ Khaled. 00:07:18.271 --> 00:07:20.773 Sorry. That was just an ad-lib. 00:07:20.840 --> 00:07:23.009 The winner is Billie Eilish. 00:07:23.075 --> 00:07:25.945 -She's so real. -Mnh-mnh. 00:07:27.180 --> 00:07:28.147 Put down that Grammy! 00:07:28.214 --> 00:07:30.316 Billie Eilish is not who you think she is! 00:07:30.383 --> 00:07:31.851 Lizzo, you got to chill. 00:07:31.918 --> 00:07:34.153 The burden of celebrity is that none of us 00:07:34.220 --> 00:07:38.057 is really who we seem, not even DJ Khaled. 00:07:38.124 --> 00:07:40.226 She's not just a quirky, pretty white girl. 00:07:40.293 --> 00:07:41.828 She's not even a girl! 00:07:41.894 --> 00:07:44.664 She's three spiders standin' on top of each other. 00:07:44.730 --> 00:07:45.998 I'll prove it. 00:07:46.065 --> 00:07:48.301 [ Electricity crackles ] 00:07:48.367 --> 00:07:49.969 [ All gasp ] 00:07:50.036 --> 00:07:51.871 I love you, Billie! 00:07:51.938 --> 00:07:55.374 [ Cheers and applause ] 00:07:55.441 --> 00:07:58.644 Oh, my God! She bit me! She bit me! 00:07:58.711 --> 00:08:00.847 Oh, like, I'm never washing this arm again! 00:08:00.913 --> 00:08:03.349 I hope I die! I hope I die! I hope it [bleep] kills me. 00:08:03.416 --> 00:08:04.317 I hope I die! I hope I die! I hope it [bleep] kills me. 00:08:05.318 --> 00:08:07.653 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:08:07.720 --> 00:08:10.022 [ Tires squeal ] 00:08:10.089 --> 00:08:14.360 It's all there -- 12 stacks. 00:08:14.427 --> 00:08:17.730 All-white retro Jordans. 00:08:17.797 --> 00:08:19.732 Oh, wait, somethin' ain't right. 00:08:19.799 --> 00:08:22.735 [ Sniffs ] Can't smell the aerosol used. 00:08:22.802 --> 00:08:25.037 And I don't taste no baby Asian fingers. 00:08:25.104 --> 00:08:27.940 And that swoosh is off by 0.32 degrees. 00:08:28.007 --> 00:08:29.242 This shit is fugazi. 00:08:29.308 --> 00:08:31.377 And they hella fake. 00:08:31.444 --> 00:08:34.213 Unauthorized replicas? Hell, no! 00:08:34.280 --> 00:08:36.048 Make his ass dead stop. 00:08:36.115 --> 00:08:38.885 So how the hell did I get here? 00:08:38.951 --> 00:08:42.054 They call me the Beast Of Hype Street. 00:08:42.121 --> 00:08:44.757 I was the ultimate sneaker head, born with a rubber sole. 00:08:44.824 --> 00:08:47.360 By the time I was 14, I was at the top of the sneaker game, 00:08:47.426 --> 00:08:50.730 sellin' more kicks than a FIFA 20 Bruce Lee sandwich. 00:08:50.796 --> 00:08:54.734 Waffles, Yeezy Boosts, and Dunks in pine green. 00:08:54.800 --> 00:08:56.903 I was learnin' from the best of the best. 00:08:56.969 --> 00:09:00.072 Look, I don't care if you're Nike or [bleep] Sketchers. 00:09:00.139 --> 00:09:02.942 No one knows if the value of a shoe is gonna go up or down 00:09:03.009 --> 00:09:04.877 or in a [bleep] loopity-loopity-loopity loop. 00:09:04.944 --> 00:09:07.413 We determine how much these mother[bleep] are worth, right? 00:09:07.480 --> 00:09:08.814 Mm-hmm. 00:09:08.881 --> 00:09:10.116 Whoo! Ha! 00:09:10.182 --> 00:09:11.984 Mm-hmm-hmm. 00:09:12.051 --> 00:09:15.988 From that day on, I became a beast -- a hype beast. 00:09:16.055 --> 00:09:17.990 Hey, man, get me some Yeezy Boosts. 00:09:18.057 --> 00:09:20.159 Okay? I'll suck your kicks. 00:09:20.226 --> 00:09:21.761 You do know know I'm only 14, right? 00:09:21.827 --> 00:09:24.330 Come on, 14. I ain't had new kicks in months. 00:09:24.397 --> 00:09:26.832 Try to walk a mile in my shoes, okay? 00:09:26.899 --> 00:09:28.334 Uh, walkin' a mile was your first mistake. 00:09:28.401 --> 00:09:29.902 That's why your shit's all creased. 00:09:29.969 --> 00:09:31.337 I don't wear beaters. I just walk a lot. 00:09:31.404 --> 00:09:33.005 But then I found myself breaking the first rule 00:09:33.072 --> 00:09:34.273 of sneaker culture -- 00:09:34.340 --> 00:09:36.242 don't get laced off your own laces. 00:09:37.510 --> 00:09:40.746 Oh! Dior Air Jordans. 00:09:40.813 --> 00:09:43.182 And just like that, I was hooked. 00:09:43.249 --> 00:09:46.285 [ Sniffs ] Ooh! Take that size 9 1/2! 00:09:46.352 --> 00:09:47.853 Mm! 00:09:47.920 --> 00:09:50.122 [ Children screaming, police radio chatter ] 00:09:50.189 --> 00:09:52.124 And then, the real problem started. 00:09:52.191 --> 00:09:54.126 Hey, come your bitch ass back, mother[bleep] 00:09:54.193 --> 00:09:57.296 These shoes are fake! 00:09:57.363 --> 00:09:59.598 -I have enough shoes. -Oh, shit! 00:10:01.267 --> 00:10:04.437 Cut me, Doc. I need a new identity. 00:10:04.503 --> 00:10:06.872 -Are you sure? -Just do it. 00:10:06.939 --> 00:10:09.842 [ Monitor beeping ] 00:10:09.909 --> 00:10:13.145 Even though I no longer own a single pair of shoes, 00:10:13.212 --> 00:10:15.314 I'll always be a sneaker head. 00:10:15.381 --> 00:10:17.483 Oh, I can't feel my tongue. 00:10:17.550 --> 00:10:19.819 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:10:19.885 --> 00:10:22.388 Woman: In 1920, women got the vote. 00:10:22.455 --> 00:10:26.158 In 1963, the Equal Pay Act was passed. 00:10:26.225 --> 00:10:29.161 And in 1973, women were granted the right 00:10:29.228 --> 00:10:31.330 to safe and legal abortion. 00:10:31.397 --> 00:10:35.401 But in 2020, one issue looms across the final frontier 00:10:35.468 --> 00:10:38.170 of women's rights -- comfort. 00:10:38.237 --> 00:10:39.905 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:10:39.972 --> 00:10:41.540 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:10:41.607 --> 00:10:43.142 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:10:43.209 --> 00:10:45.511 ♪ Leggings, leggings in the office ♪ 00:10:45.578 --> 00:10:48.014 ♪ They tellin' me what to wear ♪ 00:10:48.080 --> 00:10:51.484 ♪ Old ladies in the office givin' me judgy stares ♪ 00:10:51.550 --> 00:10:54.854 ♪ I can't get shit done if I can't move ♪ 00:10:54.920 --> 00:10:58.557 ♪ Over-dressin' for the office is a lose-lose ♪ 00:10:58.624 --> 00:11:02.194 ♪ Pencils be givin' me a rash 00:11:02.261 --> 00:11:04.830 ♪ These skirts be showin' off my ass ♪ 00:11:04.897 --> 00:11:08.200 ♪ These stilettos hurtin' my feet ♪ 00:11:08.267 --> 00:11:11.203 ♪ Just let me put on my sneaks 00:11:11.270 --> 00:11:13.506 ♪ I'm just tryin' to dress comfortable ♪ 00:11:13.572 --> 00:11:15.374 ♪ Do my work in sweats 00:11:15.441 --> 00:11:18.377 ♪ Baggy college hoodie just as chill as it gets ♪ 00:11:18.444 --> 00:11:21.213 ♪ Cheap Target pants on my ass, caress ♪ 00:11:21.280 --> 00:11:24.050 ♪ When I'm in my comfy clothes, I can do my best ♪ 00:11:24.116 --> 00:11:26.085 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:11:26.152 --> 00:11:27.853 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:11:27.920 --> 00:11:29.221 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:11:29.288 --> 00:11:32.091 ♪ Leggings, leggings in the office ♪ 00:11:32.158 --> 00:11:34.193 ♪ I gotta stay in these clothes ♪ 00:11:34.260 --> 00:11:36.295 ♪ Amelia Earhart stays in formal, you on your own ♪ 00:11:36.362 --> 00:11:38.197 ♪ On your own 00:11:38.264 --> 00:11:41.267 ♪ On the first day, Mother Teresa wasn't in a dress ♪ 00:11:41.333 --> 00:11:44.470 ♪ Harriet Tubman gives no [bleep] long as I'm in my zone ♪ 00:11:44.537 --> 00:11:47.206 ♪ That was then, can't be dressin' in no pencil skirt ♪ 00:11:47.273 --> 00:11:48.908 ♪ Got no air flow 00:11:48.974 --> 00:11:52.111 ♪ I feel comfy just like Ellen on her own show ♪ 00:11:52.178 --> 00:11:54.880 The patriarchy can change! 00:11:54.947 --> 00:11:56.916 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:11:56.982 --> 00:11:59.185 ♪ Leggings in the office 00:11:59.452 --> 00:12:00.453 ♪ Stop 00:12:00.753 --> 00:12:02.121 ♪ Boom 00:12:02.188 --> 00:12:04.890 ♪ Lock it down, open up, zoom ♪ 00:12:04.957 --> 00:12:07.259 [ Woman sobbing ] 00:12:07.326 --> 00:12:08.494 Candice: [ Shudders ] 00:12:08.561 --> 00:12:11.230 Help me. Help me, please. 00:12:11.297 --> 00:12:12.598 [ Light switch clicks ] 00:12:12.665 --> 00:12:13.999 [ Both gasp ] 00:12:14.066 --> 00:12:16.268 Hello, Candice, Jerry. 00:12:16.335 --> 00:12:19.271 I see you two have met, but did you meet Cute? 00:12:19.338 --> 00:12:21.974 -What are you talking about? -W-Who are you? 00:12:22.041 --> 00:12:25.177 Think of me as a matchmaker made in hell. 00:12:25.244 --> 00:12:27.113 [ Laughs ] 00:12:27.179 --> 00:12:29.615 It's time we played a game. -What kind of game? 00:12:29.682 --> 00:12:33.452 A dating game, more specifically the "Saw Dating Game." 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:37.456 ♪♪ 00:12:37.523 --> 00:12:39.492 -My name is Candice. -I'm Jerry. 00:12:39.558 --> 00:12:41.627 I think I just peed a little. 00:12:41.694 --> 00:12:44.296 Jerry, it's a little early in the relationship for golden showers, 00:12:44.363 --> 00:12:46.966 but, hey, I guess the heart wants what the heart wants. 00:12:47.032 --> 00:12:48.934 Now it's time for your first dance. 00:12:49.001 --> 00:12:51.137 The floor beneath you is booby-trapped with blades. 00:12:51.203 --> 00:12:54.140 Slow dance your way to the other side of the room cheek to cheek. 00:12:54.206 --> 00:12:56.442 I thought this was gonna be like "Naked And Afraid," 00:12:56.509 --> 00:12:58.144 but I'm just afraid. 00:12:58.210 --> 00:13:00.980 You can get naked if you think it'll help the mood. 00:13:01.046 --> 00:13:03.649 Can I call my agent? This seems like a death trap. 00:13:03.716 --> 00:13:06.519 This is a love trap that also might include death. 00:13:06.585 --> 00:13:10.256 And it just got harder. It's raining broken champagne flutes. 00:13:12.191 --> 00:13:15.361 Oh! I'm bleeding, and I'm terrified, 00:13:15.427 --> 00:13:17.663 but I think I might be falling in love. 00:13:17.730 --> 00:13:20.232 If we weren't trapped in a dungeon covered in gore, 00:13:20.299 --> 00:13:22.668 I would totally smash. 00:13:22.735 --> 00:13:24.336 Speaking of smashing, 00:13:24.403 --> 00:13:26.505 she's on her way to becoming your ball and chain. 00:13:26.572 --> 00:13:28.307 Aah! 00:13:28.374 --> 00:13:30.476 Watch your balls. The honeymoon is over. 00:13:30.543 --> 00:13:32.478 All that's left is the final commitment. 00:13:32.545 --> 00:13:34.313 There's an engagement ring attached to a bomb 00:13:34.380 --> 00:13:36.048 inside Jerry's stomach. 00:13:36.115 --> 00:13:38.083 You must use the scalpel to get it out. 00:13:36.115 --> 00:13:38.083 It's okay. 00:13:38.150 --> 00:13:40.519 Aah! Aah! Keep stabbing, sweetie. 00:13:40.586 --> 00:13:42.988 Check behind my carotid artery. Aah! 00:13:43.055 --> 00:13:45.257 -I found it! -Candice, we did it. 00:13:45.324 --> 00:13:47.493 We're married. 00:13:47.560 --> 00:13:49.695 [ Gurgles ] 00:13:49.762 --> 00:13:51.497 Now, Jig-Saw, 00:13:51.564 --> 00:13:54.600 you washed the whites and the bloodies together again. 00:13:54.667 --> 00:13:57.403 Now the torture really begins. 00:13:57.469 --> 00:14:00.139 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:14:00.973 --> 00:14:04.376 Welcome back to my 64-bit horoscope ass-whupping arena. 00:14:04.443 --> 00:14:06.445 Excuse me while I [bleep] up the homie's life real quick. 00:14:06.512 --> 00:14:08.447 It'll only take a second. -You goin' down, nigga. 00:14:08.514 --> 00:14:10.115 Nah, it's a wrap for you, bro. 00:14:10.182 --> 00:14:12.184 I know one of my strengths is intuition. 00:14:12.251 --> 00:14:15.020 And I activate sea of certainty. 00:14:15.087 --> 00:14:17.223 ♪♪ 00:14:17.289 --> 00:14:20.693 Trash! Nice try, but my moon's in Aquarius right now. 00:14:20.759 --> 00:14:22.428 Now I know your risin' sign. 00:14:22.494 --> 00:14:25.631 It's time for some old-school emotional warfare. 00:14:25.698 --> 00:14:28.400 I attack with my passive-aggressive game. 00:14:28.467 --> 00:14:32.071 Wow! For real? You knew my Pluto was in retrograde. 00:14:32.137 --> 00:14:33.772 You never saw it comin'. 00:14:33.839 --> 00:14:36.108 That's the mysterious riff of a Scorpius. 00:14:36.175 --> 00:14:39.044 Nigga, what? You like the least mysterious dude I know. 00:14:39.111 --> 00:14:41.747 And now I execute my attack on Gordon. 00:14:41.814 --> 00:14:43.582 Fiesta suppressor. 00:14:43.649 --> 00:14:45.751 Hey, I wasn't participating. 00:14:45.818 --> 00:14:48.053 Capricorns are control freaks, 00:14:48.120 --> 00:14:50.656 so I hit you with a surprise birthday party...for you 00:14:50.723 --> 00:14:53.292 but planned by someone else. 00:14:53.359 --> 00:14:55.160 Moderate damage has been taken. 00:14:55.227 --> 00:14:56.629 I choose to forfeit my turn 00:14:56.695 --> 00:14:58.597 to raise my health and defense points. 00:14:58.664 --> 00:15:03.068 Oh-ho-ho-ho! Oh, somebody sorta looks like a bitch! 00:15:03.135 --> 00:15:06.805 I-I-I-I ain't scared. I'm st-strategic. 00:15:06.872 --> 00:15:08.774 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:15:08.841 --> 00:15:10.676 ♪ "Sugar and Toys" 00:15:10.743 --> 00:15:13.812 Woman: Ephemeral. Familiar. Privileged. 00:15:13.879 --> 00:15:15.247 Fragilité. 00:15:15.314 --> 00:15:16.615 Fragilité Blanc -- 00:15:16.682 --> 00:15:19.318 Show them you deserve to get there first. 00:15:19.385 --> 00:15:22.488 Every bottle of Fragilité is made entirely 00:15:22.554 --> 00:15:25.591 of the tears of white women sad about a number of trivial things. 00:15:25.658 --> 00:15:26.792 Fragilité. 00:15:26.859 --> 00:15:28.327 Oh, I just thought about puppies 00:15:28.394 --> 00:15:29.762 that don't get adopted. 00:15:29.828 --> 00:15:31.797 I just binged-watched "This is Us." 00:15:31.864 --> 00:15:35.134 Why did Milo Ventimiglia have to die? 00:15:35.200 --> 00:15:36.468 I feel threatened. 00:15:36.535 --> 00:15:38.470 Oh, I'm just having a day. 00:15:38.537 --> 00:15:40.639 Woman: Fragilité imbues its wearer 00:15:40.706 --> 00:15:43.142 with the unearned sympathy these very white women 00:15:43.208 --> 00:15:45.144 receive from society. 00:15:45.210 --> 00:15:46.478 Spray some in the mall. 00:15:46.545 --> 00:15:47.813 Hey, hey, you steal it -- 00:15:47.880 --> 00:15:49.481 Oh, come again, white man? 00:15:49.548 --> 00:15:52.551 Oh, whoops, sorry. I guess the alarm is acting up. 00:15:52.618 --> 00:15:53.819 [ Siren chirps ] 00:15:53.886 --> 00:15:55.454 Spray someone pulled over. 00:15:55.521 --> 00:15:56.822 And license and registration. 00:15:56.889 --> 00:15:59.124 Whoa! Hands where I can see 'em, shit bird! 00:15:59.191 --> 00:16:01.160 Uh, is there a problem Mr. Po-Po? 00:16:01.226 --> 00:16:03.829 Oh. Oh, uh, just be careful out there. 00:16:03.896 --> 00:16:06.165 And -- And here, take this cronut for the road. 00:16:06.231 --> 00:16:07.866 I am allergic to gluten. 00:16:07.933 --> 00:16:10.369 Oh, please don't call my supervisor. 00:16:10.436 --> 00:16:12.338 I'm gonna let this one slide, pig-ass pig. 00:16:12.404 --> 00:16:13.706 [ Camera shutter clicks ] 00:16:13.772 --> 00:16:16.175 Or when your partner catches you cheating. 00:16:16.241 --> 00:16:19.244 Unh-unh. What bitch you sending dick pics to in her DMs? 00:16:19.311 --> 00:16:21.246 Oh, shit! My dick don't even look like that. 00:16:21.313 --> 00:16:23.148 Not his dick. 00:16:23.215 --> 00:16:25.351 -Aah! -I'm gonna beat your ass, nigga! 00:16:25.417 --> 00:16:28.320 -Get over here! -Fragilité does not work on black women 00:16:28.387 --> 00:16:30.856 who are immune to the effects of Caucasian tears. 00:16:30.923 --> 00:16:33.292 Please use only as directed. 00:16:33.859 --> 00:16:36.662 ♪ I like, I really like 00:16:36.729 --> 00:16:38.197 ♪ "Sugar and Toys" 00:16:38.263 --> 00:16:39.865 ♪ "Sugar and Toys" 00:16:39.932 --> 00:16:41.767 Mama! 00:16:41.834 --> 00:16:45.170 We're here, Miss Ivanka Di Trumpville. 00:16:45.237 --> 00:16:47.706 What a beautiful day to be rich. 00:16:47.773 --> 00:16:49.875 ♪ Ivanka Di Trumpville 00:16:49.942 --> 00:16:51.877 ♪ Ivanka Di Trumpville 00:16:51.944 --> 00:16:54.380 ♪ She's shitty 00:16:54.446 --> 00:16:55.748 Come along, Don. 00:16:55.814 --> 00:16:57.383 Time to pad my unearned wealth 00:16:57.449 --> 00:16:58.784 and use it to buy up my new book 00:16:58.851 --> 00:17:00.853 so it looks like I sold lots of copies. 00:17:00.919 --> 00:17:02.254 Ha-ha! 00:17:02.321 --> 00:17:04.223 Don Jr., this isn't mini golf. 00:17:04.289 --> 00:17:05.758 You said we were going to mini golf. 00:17:05.824 --> 00:17:08.360 -Here, Eric, play with this. -Ooh, a penny. 00:17:08.427 --> 00:17:10.462 Hey, look, I can fit this penny in my nose. 00:17:10.529 --> 00:17:13.732 [ Choking ] 00:17:13.799 --> 00:17:17.302 No, that's one's not right. And that one's too small. 00:17:17.369 --> 00:17:18.904 Oh, that one looks sick. 00:17:18.971 --> 00:17:22.241 A-ha! Those four will be perfect. 00:17:22.307 --> 00:17:24.476 Congratulations, illegals. You're being adopted. 00:17:24.543 --> 00:17:27.413 Yo, that Stepford-ass white lady look creepy as hell. 00:17:27.479 --> 00:17:30.416 I know white. White is the color of Daddy's nighttime robe, 00:17:30.482 --> 00:17:32.251 you know, the ones with the pointy hoods. 00:17:32.317 --> 00:17:35.421 Believe me, children, your lives are about to change. 00:17:35.487 --> 00:17:36.789 Retrieve the orphans. 00:17:36.855 --> 00:17:38.557 Yo, we're not orphans. 00:17:38.624 --> 00:17:41.393 You just locked our parents up and separated us indefinitely. 00:17:41.460 --> 00:17:43.929 ♪ Ivanka Di Trumpville 00:17:43.996 --> 00:17:45.798 ♪ She's shitty 00:17:45.864 --> 00:17:47.900 Welcome to your new home, children. 00:17:47.966 --> 00:17:50.335 Yo, this ain't a bedroom. This a sweatshop. 00:17:50.402 --> 00:17:52.504 Precisely. I'm a job creator. 00:17:52.571 --> 00:17:55.841 You will be making high-fashion coats out of puppies. 00:17:55.908 --> 00:17:57.609 [ Dog barks ] 00:17:57.676 --> 00:17:59.645 We not about to do shit for you, lady. 00:17:59.711 --> 00:18:01.947 And we're not killing any puppies. 00:18:02.014 --> 00:18:03.782 If you don't wanna make the coats for me, 00:18:03.849 --> 00:18:07.252 then I'll just have someone else make the coats out of you. 00:18:07.319 --> 00:18:09.288 Goddamn, this bitch is crazy. 00:18:09.354 --> 00:18:11.323 Faster! Faster, Goddamn it! Faster. 00:18:11.390 --> 00:18:13.325 Alright, that's it. We gotta get the hell out of here. 00:18:13.392 --> 00:18:16.295 Hey, weird white guy, I hear they got mini golf in here. 00:18:16.361 --> 00:18:18.263 Really? Do they have the little windmill in there, too? 00:18:18.330 --> 00:18:20.799 -Uh-huh. -Eric, stop that. Where you going now? 00:18:20.866 --> 00:18:22.968 Eric, if you don't come back here right this instant, 00:18:23.035 --> 00:18:25.537 I'm leaving you out of the next book I've paid someone to write for me. 00:18:25.604 --> 00:18:26.939 Hope y'all like puppies. 00:18:27.005 --> 00:18:29.975 [ Screaming ] 00:18:27.005 --> 00:18:29.975 [ Dogs snarling ] 00:18:32.377 --> 00:18:33.545 [ Sneezes ] 00:18:33.612 --> 00:18:35.647 Yay! Money, money, money! 00:18:35.714 --> 00:18:37.516 Oh, God! 00:18:37.583 --> 00:18:39.818 What the hell is going on here? 00:18:39.885 --> 00:18:42.020 I was right in the middle of my me time, 00:18:42.087 --> 00:18:43.989 which is what I call it when I masturbate 00:18:44.056 --> 00:18:45.657 to a photo of my father. 00:18:45.724 --> 00:18:47.659 Goddamn! This family is twisted. 00:18:47.726 --> 00:18:49.895 Oh, I'll show you twisted. 00:18:50.963 --> 00:18:51.864 Come back here! 00:18:51.930 --> 00:18:54.900 Mama needs a new coat made of soft baby skin. 00:18:54.967 --> 00:18:56.368 No. 00:18:56.435 --> 00:18:58.670 [ Screaming ] 00:18:58.737 --> 00:19:01.507 I'm melting! 00:19:01.573 --> 00:19:04.343 Ha-ha! Nah, you being made into a coat. 00:19:04.409 --> 00:19:06.812 And we're selling your ass at Target. 00:19:06.879 --> 00:19:10.682 Get your dirty paws off me, you damn filthy commoner. 00:19:10.749 --> 00:19:12.017 I'm a Trump! 00:19:12.084 --> 00:19:14.686 I'm a Goddamned, mother[bleep] Trump. 00:19:14.753 --> 00:19:16.522 ♪ Ivanka Di Trumpville 00:19:16.588 --> 00:19:18.357 ♪ She's shitty 00:19:18.423 --> 00:19:20.492 ♪ "Sugar and Toys," "Sugar and Toys" ♪ 00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:22.394 Just give up, bro. 00:19:22.461 --> 00:19:25.397 My moon is rising, but my second sun is in Saturn. 00:19:25.464 --> 00:19:27.432 Am I more impulsive or reflective? 00:19:27.499 --> 00:19:29.401 I don't know what's goin' on. 00:19:29.468 --> 00:19:31.069 Charge-up is complete. 00:19:31.136 --> 00:19:32.905 Oh, you want that work again. 00:19:32.971 --> 00:19:35.541 Alright. How about another fiesta suppressor? 00:19:35.607 --> 00:19:36.708 Huh? 00:19:36.775 --> 00:19:37.910 Sitting out and resting 00:19:37.976 --> 00:19:40.045 activated my self-worth boost card. 00:19:40.112 --> 00:19:41.880 I am no longer phased 00:19:41.947 --> 00:19:45.450 because I realize my life has value and beauty. 00:19:45.517 --> 00:19:47.786 Man, you can't counter my triggers with growth. 00:19:47.853 --> 00:19:50.556 And now I attack with an empathy card. 00:19:50.622 --> 00:19:52.891 Kyle, you matter. Your trauma is real. 00:19:52.958 --> 00:19:54.393 And I support your journey. 00:19:54.459 --> 00:19:57.095 No! I'm vanquished! 00:19:57.162 --> 00:20:00.532 It looks like Scorpiuses need to have someone beneath them 00:20:00.599 --> 00:20:02.067 for their power to work. 00:20:02.134 --> 00:20:05.537 Man, [bleep] fake astrology and this weak-ass game. 00:20:05.604 --> 00:20:07.706 Ha ha. You mad, bro? 00:20:07.773 --> 00:20:10.075 Alright, everyone. Remember, if you ain't got time for logic, 00:20:10.142 --> 00:20:11.710 reason, or education, 00:20:11.777 --> 00:20:13.779 astrology may be just the finesse for you. 00:20:13.845 --> 00:20:15.514 Stay woke, y'all.