1 00:00:02,080 --> 00:00:03,960 Participation trophies. 2 00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:05,620 I’m not a fan. 3 00:00:05,620 --> 00:00:07,460 They’re bad for kids. 4 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:08,840 Bad for parents. 5 00:00:08,840 --> 00:00:10,500 Bad for society. 6 00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:13,240 Other than that, they’re okay. 7 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:14,760 Don’t get me wrong. 8 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:18,380 I love any kind of organized competition for kids. 9 00:00:18,380 --> 00:00:24,160 I lived and breathed baseball, basketball, football and soccer growing up. 10 00:00:24,160 --> 00:00:27,380 If there was a sport to be played, I played it. 11 00:00:27,380 --> 00:00:32,200 And never once did anybody ever tell me that winning was not important 12 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:35,080 or that showing up was all that mattered. 13 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:38,340 But today, kids get a different message. 14 00:00:38,340 --> 00:00:39,470 Losing? 15 00:00:39,470 --> 00:00:40,630 No big deal. 16 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,820 Showing up? 17 00:00:41,820 --> 00:00:43,460 That deserves a trophy. 18 00:00:43,460 --> 00:00:44,380 Wow. 19 00:00:44,380 --> 00:00:46,840 What an awful thing to tell a kid. 20 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:49,980 Glad my parents or coaches never said it to me. 21 00:00:49,980 --> 00:00:54,840 If they had, I’m sure I never would’ve become a pro soccer player. 22 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:56,900 Let me tell you why. 23 00:00:56,900 --> 00:00:59,820 In high school, I was a good soccer player. 24 00:00:59,820 --> 00:01:02,280 I thought I could play soccer in college. 25 00:01:02,280 --> 00:01:07,340 Looking back, though, I just wasn’t good enough in those college coaches eyes. 26 00:01:07,340 --> 00:01:10,060 I tried out for the UCLA team as a walk-on. 27 00:01:10,060 --> 00:01:11,020 I made it! 28 00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:12,320 I was vindicated. 29 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:16,140 I had arrived...on the bench. 30 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,220 The coach hardly ever looked at me. 31 00:01:18,220 --> 00:01:20,560 I’m not even sure he knew my name. 32 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:23,490 I know he didn't care about my feelings. 33 00:01:23,490 --> 00:01:26,940 I wanted to be a starter, I wanted to be a winner. 34 00:01:26,940 --> 00:01:30,300 Shouldn't I have been satisfied just for making the team? 35 00:01:30,300 --> 00:01:31,700 Of course not. 36 00:01:31,700 --> 00:01:33,280 That’s absurd. 37 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:35,180 But isn’t that what kids are told today? 38 00:01:35,180 --> 00:01:36,380 You’re a winner. 39 00:01:36,380 --> 00:01:37,880 Even if you’re not. 40 00:01:37,880 --> 00:01:39,760 Even if you come in last. 41 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:45,040 And we’ll give you a trophy…just for showing up, just for participating. 42 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:50,300 This belief – that showing up is an accomplishment – is self-destructive. 43 00:01:50,300 --> 00:01:55,540 Because the pain of losing is part of what drives one to improve. 44 00:01:55,540 --> 00:02:01,200 The frustration of going to game after game and sitting on the bench drove me nuts. 45 00:02:01,210 --> 00:02:02,599 I had to practice more. 46 00:02:02,600 --> 00:02:04,160 I had to work harder. 47 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,479 Or, I had to give up. 48 00:02:06,479 --> 00:02:09,060 And I didn’t want to give up. 49 00:02:09,060 --> 00:02:15,380 This taught me an important lesson: If you don’t put in the work, you won’t get ahead. 50 00:02:15,380 --> 00:02:17,280 And not getting ahead? 51 00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,180 Well, that feels awful. 52 00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,700 So, put in the work. 53 00:02:20,700 --> 00:02:22,360 Or go home. 54 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:23,840 So, I put in the work. 55 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:30,240 I pushed myself, not to do my best – because who can possibly know what “their best” is? 56 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,780 – but to be better. 57 00:02:31,780 --> 00:02:33,280 And better. 58 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,680 And one day, my chance came. 59 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,280 Coach put me in the game. 60 00:02:37,280 --> 00:02:41,400 Not because I wanted so badly to play, but because he needed me. 61 00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,700 I played well. 62 00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:47,240 Well enough to start the next game where I scored a goal, and had an assist. 63 00:02:47,240 --> 00:02:50,620 After that I started every game. 64 00:02:50,620 --> 00:02:59,660 The road to victory – in sports, in business, in life – is paved with losses, painful losses. 65 00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:04,220 Losses that can hurt so much it’s hard to breathe. 66 00:03:04,220 --> 00:03:09,520 Any professional athlete or successful entrepreneur will tell you that’s true. 67 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:15,540 But participation trophies, everybody-is-the-valedictorian, and let’s-all-pat-each-other-on-the-back 68 00:03:15,549 --> 00:03:18,329 awards communicate a different message. 69 00:03:18,329 --> 00:03:22,100 They tell you that losing doesn't matter – it matters. 70 00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:29,380 They tell you that competition is, at best, not important, and at worst, dangerous. 71 00:03:29,380 --> 00:03:34,820 I wonder how my soccer career would have turned out if I’d grown up with these ideas in my head. 72 00:03:34,820 --> 00:03:39,300 I was cut twice during the tryout period for the 1992 Olympics. 73 00:03:39,310 --> 00:03:44,400 My pro soccer team, the LA Galaxy, lost three times in the championship before we finally 74 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,890 won in 2002. 75 00:03:46,890 --> 00:03:48,330 Guess what? 76 00:03:48,330 --> 00:03:52,650 I survived all these disappointments and a whole lot more. 77 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:56,379 They only made victory that much sweeter. 78 00:03:56,379 --> 00:04:01,109 In the real world, you’re rewarded for achievement, not effort. 79 00:04:01,109 --> 00:04:04,249 Promotions don’t go to the employees who did their best. 80 00:04:04,249 --> 00:04:07,680 They go to the employees who did the best. 81 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,860 But what if the kids can’t handle losing? 82 00:04:09,860 --> 00:04:12,040 What if it’s too painful? 83 00:04:12,040 --> 00:04:13,500 That’s the whole point. 84 00:04:13,500 --> 00:04:18,900 It’s your job as the adult, as the parent, to help them understand that losing 85 00:04:18,900 --> 00:04:22,580 – that not getting what they want – is a part of life. 86 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:29,940 Nobody likes to fail, but it’s inevitable and it’s the only path, ultimately, to success. 87 00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:33,480 Yes, showing up and participating is important. 88 00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,680 Trying your best is important. 89 00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,860 But neither deserves a trophy. 90 00:04:37,860 --> 00:04:41,760 If you want one of those, go win something. 91 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,520 I’m Cobi Jones for Prager University.