1
00:00:01,880 --> 00:00:04,240
I grew up in the former Soviet Union.

2
00:00:04,240 --> 00:00:09,200
My parents and I lived in a communal apartment
with nine other families.

3
00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:14,400
When my parents wanted to be romantic they
would send me to look out the window.

4
00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,700
One day my dad said, “So what did you see
out the window?”

5
00:00:17,700 --> 00:00:21,540
I said, “Our neighbors being romantic.”

6
00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:22,840
He said, “How could you tell?”

7
00:00:22,850 --> 00:00:27,210
I said, “Because their son is looking at
me.”

8
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:28,890
My parents laughed.

9
00:00:28,890 --> 00:00:32,990
At that moment, I felt that I was in the presence
of love.

10
00:00:32,990 --> 00:00:38,690
As a child, I made the discovery that laughter
must be the way people communicate to one

11
00:00:38,690 --> 00:00:40,930
another that they’re happy.

12
00:00:40,930 --> 00:00:45,630
Did you know that there has been actual research
into the relationship

13
00:00:45,630 --> 00:00:48,490
between laughter and happy marriages?

14
00:00:48,490 --> 00:00:55,550
For over four decades, Dr. John Gottman, Professor
of Psychology at the University of Washington,

15
00:00:55,550 --> 00:01:02,500
has studied thousands of couples in both successful
relationships and not-so-successful ones.

16
00:01:02,510 --> 00:01:07,220
“Couples who laugh together,” he concludes,
“last together.”

17
00:01:07,220 --> 00:01:12,420
Here’s how it works: we make each other
happy first and then laughter reassures us

18
00:01:12,430 --> 00:01:14,530
that we are on the right track.

19
00:01:14,530 --> 00:01:22,440
The fading away of laughter may be the best
way to tell if your relationship has gone off course.

20
00:01:22,440 --> 00:01:28,140
So here is what I want you to start doing:
listen for laughter in your relationship.

21
00:01:28,140 --> 00:01:33,680
And not just any laughter – listen for moments
when you share laughter together.

22
00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:39,740
If that isn’t happening just about every
day, it is time to do something about it.

23
00:01:39,740 --> 00:01:42,360
Let me give you an example from my own life.

24
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,660
One night, I was putting my son Alexander
to bed.

25
00:01:45,660 --> 00:01:47,420
He was cranky and crying.

26
00:01:47,420 --> 00:01:51,740
My wife said to me, “I’ll show you how
to put the baby to sleep.”

27
00:01:51,750 --> 00:01:56,350
She took Alexander from me and put him in
the bassinet and put the bassinet

28
00:01:56,350 --> 00:01:58,690
on top of the dryer.

29
00:01:58,690 --> 00:02:01,159
Two minutes later he was sound asleep.

30
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:02,760
I said “Oh great.

31
00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:06,080
All other kids are going to go to daycare
center.

32
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:09,260
I’ll have to drop him off at the laundromat.

33
00:02:09,260 --> 00:02:12,580
Oh, that bundle? Yeah, that one is mine.”

34
00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:18,300
My wife did not laugh.

35
00:02:18,300 --> 00:02:21,860
As a comedian, I should have caught that.

36
00:02:21,860 --> 00:02:26,640
In my show, if a joke doesn’t get a laugh,
I analyze what went wrong.

37
00:02:26,640 --> 00:02:31,599
Perhaps change the set-up, or a punch line
to get the laughter back.

38
00:02:31,599 --> 00:02:36,519
I use laughter as a gauge of the happiness
of my audience.

39
00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:42,740
At that time, I did not understand that it
could be applied to my personal life as well.

40
00:02:42,740 --> 00:02:50,740
If I had understood that laughter was a gauge
of happiness, I might have saved my marriage.

41
00:02:50,740 --> 00:02:56,180
As I started to research the science of happiness,
I learned that when there is a genuine connection

42
00:02:56,190 --> 00:03:02,800
between people, laughter is the first thing
that happens as a confirmation of a happy relationship.

43
00:03:02,800 --> 00:03:08,620
The intimacy comes next and then people get
married and live together.

44
00:03:08,620 --> 00:03:12,820
When things are not working, laughter is the
first thing to go.

45
00:03:12,820 --> 00:03:15,580
Second thing to go is intimacy.

46
00:03:15,580 --> 00:03:18,440
Third thing is your house.

47
00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:23,420
Of course, marriages and relationships break
up for all sorts of reasons.

48
00:03:23,420 --> 00:03:29,060
But, I can say with confidence, if you’re
not laughing, there is trouble ahead.

49
00:03:29,060 --> 00:03:33,520
So, how do you get the laughter back if you’ve
lost it?

50
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:38,380
Every relationship is different, of course,
but there is one constant:

51
00:03:38,390 --> 00:03:41,630
To laugh together, you need to be together.

52
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:45,430
And that literally means time together.

53
00:03:45,430 --> 00:03:51,860
You need to start by making a decision that
time together is important and it’s not negotiable.

54
00:03:51,860 --> 00:03:55,760
Set a date night, take a dance lesson, a cooking
class.

55
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,690
It doesn’t matter what you do.

56
00:03:57,690 --> 00:03:59,860
You just have to do it.

57
00:03:59,860 --> 00:04:08,200
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics,
American couples sleep an average 7.2 hours a day,

58
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:14,900
work 8.5 hours a day, and watch television
2.4 hours a day.

59
00:04:14,900 --> 00:04:19,400
Then they wanted to know how much time are
we intimate with one another.

60
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:24,780
They combined hugging, kissing, cuddling and
lovemaking.

61
00:04:24,780 --> 00:04:28,240
It was one minute a day.

62
00:04:28,240 --> 00:04:34,600
So if you’re doing it for 20 minutes, you’re
using somebody else’s minutes…

63
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:37,020
And they don’t roll over.

64
00:04:37,030 --> 00:04:42,130
I believe that if you understand the connection
between happiness and laughter,

65
00:04:42,130 --> 00:04:44,630
you’ll be way ahead of those statistics.

66
00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:51,720
You will have better or even best chance to
have a long, lasting happy relationship.

67
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:58,140
Just like the gas gauge in your car let’s you know how much gas you have in your tank,

68
00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:04,000
laughter can let you know how much happiness you have in your relationship.

69
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:12,620
The goal is to live happily ever laughter. And maybe make love more than one minute a day.

70
00:05:12,620 --> 00:05:16,920
I’m Yakov Smirnoff for Prager University.